Week from Hell

There must be something about this week that has made everything suck. My week was not even the worst of it.

Audrey, a bestie in NYC shares her experience in one of the 7 circles of hell:

Audrey:

I am not a good teacher

today i went into my assistant principals office and tried to quit

he wouldn't let me

8:25pmME:

omg

really?

i'm sorry

8:25pmAudrey:

i'm done.

8:25pmME:

is this what you discussed with your principal?

8:26pmAudrey:

yeah

he felt really bad

and kept saying, "just don't give up hope. you can leave after this year but don't leave now please."

"we'll never find anyone else who would work here"

8:26pmAudrey:

i had a parent come in to discuss a child and my kids were supposed to be taking a quiz with a sub

instead they screamed, cursed, tried to pee in a garbage can, threw stuff, kept turning on the readio full blast

the parent told me my class was disgusting....i told her to tell the office.

The horrors of public education. Not that my experiences are even close to that magnitude, but I still feel like I am not functioning. Here is a little bit from my week from my milder 'pre-circle' of hell.

Ass Monday

"Stop being an ass."

The words came out matter of fact but delayed behind seconds of my own personal awkward silence. The kids did not react. Most likely because none of them listen to me anyways. I apologized for my language and made some matter-of-fact comment about how it missed my filter. Although nothing came of it, I was still shocked and embarrassed to have crossed a professional line. And now I feel like an ass.

Cranky Tuesday

"Mr. ____'s always cranky on Tuesdays," say the students when working with my colleague. She thought that as a colleague that I should know that this is what they are saying about me.

Perhaps we may take a look at what happens on Tuesdays (or Wednesdays) every week. The HS Orchestra Director comes into my room and tells me that everything that I am doing with my lowest functioning and most difficult kids will cause me to not get 1's in contest. She questions my choices to give them listening experiences, teach more than notes, and pick repertoire that I think will grow them as an ensemble. Yet, it was she who brought this to my attention. It seems like she transfers and applies knowledge as effectively as my students' approach to note-reading.

It is not like I appreciate everything that she does for me and her experience directing successful programs. I do. She is looking out for me to protect me from Big Brother, but I don't really know who is actually going to frown down on my low contest scores the most. My principal, her, the fine arts chair, my colleagues? I honestly just do not care and am confident that I will grow a successful program over the course of a few years.

Losing it Wednesday, but the 6th Graders give me a glimmer of hope

It is wonderful that even on an awful day of teaching, all it takes is a bunch of 6th graders staying after school for extra help and trying to play May Song together without me can change my mood. Maybe there is hope after all, no? Sadly, this was all set in a room where the current 7th graders cannot play or figure out anything. Fail. Rome wasn't built in a day, no?

Hooky Thursday

Sorry school friends. I went to observe Canyon Vista's super-powered (aka all Indian and Asian) orchestra program while my school was doing TAKS testing. It was a great experience, but watching the 'ideal' floating-on-a-cloud program was taxing. How can my principal send me over there thinking that I will be able to take things from that program and bring it back to my school? Our demographic in terms of SES, learning disabilities, race, and students who have access to private lessons is completely disparate.

I was practically falling asleep anyways, so I left a little early to catch up on work and regain some sanity at home before my private group class.

P.S. Canyon Vista doesn't do 7:15 morning sectionals?! If I worked those hours, I would not have a job.

Finally Friday!

Let's hope for the best friends. Good luck!